Stephen Hawking Abducted by Pissed Off Aliens

Funny story written by Cuff

Sunday, 25 April 2010

image for Stephen Hawking Abducted by Pissed Off Aliens
We don't look like this you clowns!

In a dazzling stream of multi colored lights famous astrophysicist Stephen Hawking was abducted from a Star Trek convention by aliens.

Costumed to honor the retired science officer of the Enterprise Spock, aka Leonard Nimoy, it was first assumed that the intergalactic terrorists were offended by his pointed ears but after the ransom demands were presented the drama deepened.

The matter of Hawking being returned was not an issue but more so the manner since they threatened to roll him out of high orbit unless specifics were met.

"The little bastard demeaned us with his assumptions but we have to admit we get a kick out of that voice thingy; you shoulda heard it with the probe. He said really mean things about us only coming here to raid your fridge of resources but the intergalactic fact is there is only one thing we want from you clowns.

"First is to get rid of those annoying reality shows. What the cuff is up with that? The second is bringing back 24 and Jack Bauer. That dude can kick my alien ass any day. The last is not negotiable. The breast size on the Sci-Fi channel and overall chick quality is not acceptable. It is bad enough they have no plots and no one can act but what gives? The only reason we watch those stupid movies is to see some female human skin.

"Oh, we almost forgot we want Bruce Campbell to have his own network and for you to execute that Madonna rip-off Lady Gaga; what a hack."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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