Sam-Cam Says She Hates Nick Clegg Because He's Got Hairy Nostrils

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Sam-Cam Says She Hates Nick Clegg Because He's Got Hairy Nostrils
Nick Clegg Nose The Score

In a snatched interview with Samantha Cameron, the Conservative Party Leader's wife explained - as she sat on her backside creosoting a fence - that she has nothing personal against Nick Clegg, but that she is surprised that the Lib-Dem leader managed to coax thirty women into his bed because the poor soul has such hairy nostrils.

Visibly shuddering in horror, the pregnant Sam-Cam complained that although Nick Clegg looked quite smart in a suit and shiny leather shoes, he couldn't hide the fact that he has been cursed with seriously hirsute nostrils, and that not even a 'Nicky Clarke Xtreme Nose Hair Plucker' could ever totally disguise the fact.

When we pointed out that it isn't uncommon for men of a certain age to become afflicted with excessive nostril hair, Sam-Cam countered that Nick Clegg's nostril hairs are excessively thick - like steel cables - and would be enough to put any prospective bunk-up partner or voter alike off.

Even the gay ones.

One observer accused Mrs Cameron of jumping on the Nick Clegg smear campaign bandwagon, but she soon cut him off by suggesting the image of a big hairy nose looming above you, hovering close over your face, while you're lying on your back in a cornfield with your legs in the air.

Ricky Martin said in Hollywood that he doesn't like hairy nostrils on a man either.

Look out for the sparks. They will fly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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