Nick Clegg Is As Bent As A Nine Pound Note Claim Rivals

Written by Skoob1999

Thursday, 22 April 2010

image for Nick Clegg Is As Bent As A Nine Pound Note Claim Rivals
Nick Clegg Handcuffed To Jack The Ripper

Hot on the heels of his meteoric rise in popularity, Lib-Dem leader Nick Clegg is quickly having to adjust to the seedy underbelly of political life as he becomes the target of an unprecedented smear campaign.

Allegations of financial irregularities have come to light, but Clegg denies any impropriety and has vowed to clear his name. But the spin doctors and scandal-mongers have been sharpening the knives and have really pushed the boat out, accusing Nick Clegg of all manner of abominable behaviour.

One report alleged that Clegg stole the charity bottle from a pub in Heston On The Wirral, another accused him of strangling a woman's pet ferret, and a further question was raised after a Westminster tea lady accused the Lib-Dem leader of trying to look down her top as she served tea.

Nick Clegg denies all the allegations and puts it down to a smear campaign initiated by a bizarre Labour/Conservative blood pact which holds him responsible for the Icelandic volcano whose name we can't be arsed to spell, the Chinese earthquake, and a woman seen in Bristol wearing a plant pot on her head.

Nick Clegg said that all the allegations made against him were unfounded and patently untrue, but it was obviously getting to him this morning as he appeared on Sky News, so ruffled that he'd forgotten to put on his trademark orange tie.

Look out for the sparks. They will fly.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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