Shock: Tiger Didn't Lose Masters 2010, He Quit

Written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

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These three have got Woods.

It has been revealed that embattled golf knobbing legend, Tiger 'Shag' Woods, sensationally quit the Masters 2010 competition.

Woods was seen on live television coverage of the event running from the green when a female streaker ran butt-naked across the field of play.

"He turned pale and dropped his club," said Chad Pipstilt, "and then just ran. We think he recognised the girl, or at least bits of her."

Woods' spokesman confirmed that the young strumpet was indeed one of his earlier conquests. "Tiger just couldn't face the pressure of all the media blowing the whole sorry affair up again. And to be honest he was playing shit anyway, so it really didn't matter that he quit!"

The spokesman, Randy Twatt, went on "reports that Tiger was actually chasing the streaker are completely unfounded, it was just coincidence that he was running to the clubhouse which was in the same direction she was running. And she was clearly a far superior sprinter, which explains why she was in front of him."

It is in no way to be believed that the organiser's recieved a large sum of money to place Woods in tied fourth position, and that a major Hollywood film studio were brought in to piece together archive footage of Woods playing, so as to keep up the pretence that he finished the tournament.

More as we forge it...

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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