Tiger Woods Tells Jim Carrey To Shut The Eff Up

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Saturday, 10 April 2010


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image for Tiger Woods Tells Jim Carrey To Shut The Eff Up
The first golf ball that Tiger hit after returning to the golf course.

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Comedian Jim Carrey suddenly seems to think that he is the new Dr. Phil. Carrey remarked that Tiger Woods' wife, Elin "Queen Elin" Nordegren had to have known about his dozen or so infidelities.

Carrey said that no married man can be boinking, poking, and humping so many women and the wife be totally oblivious to the whole thing (no pun intended, expressed, or otherwise intimated).

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Tisk-Tisk. (;)]

Interestingly enough, Jim Carrey was only recently dumped by his domestic partner of five years the fabulously-titted Jenny McCarthy on the grounds that he was no longer funny.

McCarthy remarked that Jimmy just all of a sudden lost his funniness, much like a pitcher eventually loses his fastball, a golfer eventual loses his swing, and a hockey player ends up all pucked up.

Carrey pointed out that by making his remarks he is only trying to help Tiger Woods since everyone from President Obama to Len Goodman was down on El Tigre.

Dr. Jim Carrey said that he just wanted America to know that he is in Tiger's corner and he is willing to be there to help keep the pack of hormonal "she wolves" from grabbing at his golfistic groin.

When Tiger Woods was told of Jim Carrey's comments he shook his head, rolled his eyes, and said, "Okay, now so someone please tell me again just who da hell dis Jim Carrey fella is?"

Woods was told that the 48-year-old Carrey used to be a comedian, several years ago, before America caught on to his third-rate, boring, repetitive rubber-faced antics.

Tiger cleared his throat and said, "Well somebody please tell Mr. Carrey that the Tiger is back. The Tiger is Black. And the Tiger don't need no has-been hack to cover my back. In other words...Jim Carrey shut the eff up!"

To see some very sexy photos of Jenny McCarthy's fine-looking boobs log on to www.jennymccarthysmaracas.wow

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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