Know that Tiger Woods is back on the circuit, there are a whole new set of golfing terms some of which he may or may not be acquainted with. These are:
• A " Tiger Woods,"-- should have taken a driver
• A "George W.,"-- amongst the bushes
• A " Jim Davidson ,"-- over-clubbed
• A "Paris Hilton,"-- an expensive hole
• A "Rock Hudson,"-- looked straighter than it was
• A "Cuban,"-- needed one more revolution
• An "Elton John,"-- a big bender that lips the rim
• A "Monica Lewinsky"-- all lip, no hole
• An "Adolf Hitler,"-- two shots in the bunker
• A "Saddam Hussein,"-- from one bunker straight into another
• A "Yasser Arafat,"-- ugly and in the sand
• A "Kate Winslett,"-- little bit fat but otherwise perfect
• An "O.J. Simpson,"-- got away with it
• A "Princess Di,"-- shouldn't have taken a driver
• A "condom,"-- safe, but didn't feel very good
• An "Anna Kournikova,"-- looks great, but unlikely to get a result
• A "Brazilian,"-- shaved the hole
• A " Nick Griffin,"-- too far to the right
• A " JK Rowling,"-- a Hairy Putter
• An " Osama "-- hiding in the hole
