Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson to Head All Star Cast in 'Clash of the Avatars'

Funny story written by Cuff

Friday, 9 April 2010

image for Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson to Head All Star Cast in 'Clash of the Avatars'
This film is not yet rated and pixel challenged

James Cameroon announced today that he will team up with Louis Letterrear for the next 3-D blockbuster 'Clash of the Avatars' starring none other than the hottest Hollywood couple going Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart.

In addition to the twilight lovers the star studded cast will include Katie Price, Lady Gaga, Hugh Jackman, Dawn French and Tiger Woods in his film debut.

The plot is still under construction but it appears to follow Rob Pattinson who plays the hero Jason, leader of the Avatarnauts, who leave 1000bc earth in order to battle vicious vampires from the water moon Pandemic which orbits around the uninhabitable planet Polyester in the Jessica Alba Centauri star system.

Included in the Avatarnaut special ops force is Pursedlips, played by Jackman, and together they are challenged by the gods on Mount Special Olympus to rescue mankind. Zeus is well known for his philandering with human babes but poked the poodle when he impregnated a vampire on Pandemic and produced a child, Naiveté, played by Kristen.

Zeus, king of the gods, is played by Tiger Woods and Hera, queen of the gods, is played by Katie Price because she would have it no other way.

Dawn French is cast to play Poisondon, queen of the all you can eat seafood buffet, who lurks on the water moon under a capsized cruise ship. Along with doing battle with Dawn and her minions the Avatarnauts must defeat three stigmatized witches, a Krakencrisp, and finally the most horrific of creatures Snakehead Madoosa, played by Lady Ga Ga, who with one look can turn a man into a stoner.

The mission is to rescue the virgin princess Kristen in order to hold audiences captive for more vampire flicks thus the tie in with golden fleece. Rumor has it that the Avatarnauts are getting their asses kicked when out of nowhere Ellen Ripley, played by herself, hits the self destruct button and blows everything up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more