Thousands Face Misery as BA Cabin Crew Turn up for Work

Written by cadders

Friday, 12 March 2010

image for Thousands Face Misery as BA Cabin Crew Turn up for Work
A BA Employee Today

In the latest update to the long running dispute involving British Airways and BA Cabin Crew it has been announced tonight that striking staff plan to implement two weeks of untold misery to the traveling public by actually turning up for work.

In a shock announcement tonight it has been revealed that British Airways staff will no longer simply board flights as an excuse for a free holiday, to top up their tan or an extended shopping trip but will also begin interacting with passengers.

A move some industry analysts see as the end of British Airways as a viable company with passenger complaints expected to soar

"If these useless orange mingers go back to work Branson will be laughing all the way to the bank" said one industry insider tonight.

Passenger opinions pretty much match those of industry commentators

Comments from passengers have included

"For the Love of God No...Please NOT AGAIN..Mummy!"

"My burns haven't healed since the last time"

"Does my travel insurance cover broken elbows?"

Other objections have been raised by BALPA, the pilots union, as the extra weight of make-up and fake tan required on take off may have an effect on air safety.

UK Security and Border forces have also been put on full alert as the highly explosive combination of duty-free perfume and aftershave used by BA Cabin Crew is far more lethal than the 100ml of toothpaste and small cocktail sticks so far used in attempted hijackings.

Many passengers, already annoyed with BA's cabin crew are beginning to turn to more professional and customer focused airlines such as Ryanair,EasyJet and Mafia Airways.

As one frequent flyer explained tonight

"We do actually know how to fasten a seatbelt and were really starting to enjoy quiet peaceful flights without them. Now they're back it's going to be hell...."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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