Elderly Woman Charged after Assaulting Fly

Funny story written by Danzers

Friday, 12 February 2010

image for Elderly Woman Charged after Assaulting Fly
Fly - expected to make a full recovery

A woman in her sixties has been charged with Grievous Bodily Harm by the Health and Safety Executive after swatting an 'annoying' fly.

Mrs Palmer from Scunthorpe was dusting furniture in her living room when the incident occurred.

"It was buzzing around me and driving me mad", commented Mrs Palmer. "I tried to shoo it away but it kept coming back and after head butting the lounge window a number of times it dive bombed towards me, I just caught it off-guard with a left handed swipe. It was a spur of the moment thing and I'm deeply sorry ".

The fly was taken to Scunthorpe General Hospital where an officer from the HSE office interview Mrs Palmer. The fly-who suffered severe internal injuries-said, "I was just minding my own business banging my nut against the window repeatedly when I turned and headed for the kitchen light, it was bright and beautiful and I couldn't resist it. All of a sudden 'Pow' and I was out for the count".

Mrs Palmer-who will appear in Court next week-admitted this was not her first offence having poured boiling hot water on an ants nest earlier that day. The fly is expected to make a full recovery.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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