PETA Very Unhappy With Obama The Fly Killer

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Thursday, 18 June 2009

image for PETA Very Unhappy With Obama The Fly Killer
The PETA Building in Manassas, Virginia showing recent termite damage.

WASHINGTON, D.C. - PETA, The People for Ethical Treatment of Animals has criticized President Obama for killing a fly that was flying around during his interview.

The executive director of PETA Mimosa Ledbetter said that she was shocked as she sat watching the president swat and kill the helpless little fly on national television.

Ledbetter said that her four grandchildren all started crying, three had nightmares and the little one Pinky has suddenly started sucking her big toe and peeing on the living room coffee table.

The PETA executive director said that the president should have simply asked one of the secret service agents to bring him a device known as a fly hotel so that the fly could have flown into the hotel, gotten stuck in the mucky, sticky mess and then the whole fly hotel would have simply been discarded in the nearest dumpster.

When the president was told about Ledbetter's remarks he grinned and said that Ledbetter needs to wake up from her Barbie and Ken dream world of make believe chickenshit and shut the "F" up real pronto (fast) like.

He said that she has no business interfering in offical presidential business. He further stated that when he is conducting an interview nothing, but nothing is going to interrupt him, and especially no stinking ass, run-of-the-mill, son-of-a-bitchin' fly.

President Obama said that if during the interview a woodchuck had sauntered by he would have instructed one of his secret service agents to take his pistol and shoot the mofo in a damn New York second.

He went on to say that he has just about had his fill with this whining PETA bunch of sissified lispers.

The president made a quick call and said that he is having the attorney general investigate the executive director of PETA and see if he can't have her sorry assaroni deported back to Norway or wherever the friggin' hell the GOP-lovin' twat came from.

In the meantime, he has instructed the FBI to immediately close down the main PETA headquarters building in Manassas, Virginia and to take any PETA resistors and charge them with obstruction of justice, trespassing, habeas corpus, unlawful assembly, counterfeiting, and littering.

The president told Vice-President Biden that these PETA punks have no idea who they are messing with. He then added that it's funny that the PETA bunch have never said a word, not one frickin' frackin' word about "Shotgun" Sarah Palin who has shot over 300 elk, 400 reindeer, 500 caribou, and 7,000 moose.

The president was really and truly pissed. He took a deep breath and said, "Okay someone help me here how come the sweet, caring, PETA jerks have never said a friggin' word about Governor Palin's hunting exploits. Hell, I swear that the white wildnerness witch makes Buffalo Bill Cody look like a Vatican nun."

In a developing story. Meteorologists are warning that if it doesn't rain soon, the American Geographical Society may have to change the name of the Mississippi River to the Mississippi Creek.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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