Katie Price Denies Shagging John Terry

Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 1 February 2010

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Whatever Next For John Terry?

Glamour model Katie Price aka Jordan was the latest name to be sucked into the John Terry sex scandal weekend extravaganza following allegations from a former Brighton B&B employee that the couple had checked in at a hotel room together in June of last year.

And that Price had shagged the arse off the Chelsea and England skipper.

Justin Addlehead, the former employee, currently a homeless crackhead, claimed that Price and Terry immediately went to their room with a bottle of vodka, a case of Special Brew, two bottles of Buckfast and a fish supper and immediately started going at it like rabbits.

Addlehead told us that so enthusiastic was their lovemaking that the ecstatic sobs and grunts could be clearly heard as far away as Hove. Related tales of ceiling collapses and cracked walls in neighbouring buildings caused by the couples' sexual exertions have yet to be confirmed. As has the existence of a sex tape which recorded the encounter for posterity. Allegedly.

We contacted Katie Price on her mobile enjoying an intimate moment with husband to be Alex Reid, a ra-ra skirt and a jar of KY jelly (allegedly) but she would only complain that because the public hated her, they were prepared to believe any load of old bollox about her that the corrupt media cared to serve up.

Price emphatically denied reports of the alleged Brighton B&B liaison and claimed that she did not even know John Terry. She admitted that their paths may possibly have crossed at some point in the course of their respective employment obligations, but denied ever having been introduced to John Terry, much less having shagged the arse off him.

When we challenged Addlehead's revelations he admitted that it was possibly a case of mistaken identity.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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