Alex Reid Wants To Star In 'Enter The Dragon' Remake - Katie Price Puts Her Foot Down

Written by Skoob1999

Monday, 1 February 2010

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Bruce Balboa In The Hills Above Bolton Yesterday. We're Not Sure What He Was Doing Either.

Cross dressing cage fighter and breast escort cum Celebrity Big Brother winner Alex Reid this morning stated that he would like to capitalise on his new-found fame by starring in a remake of the Bruce Lee chop socky classic 'Enter The Dragon.'

Reid said that he rather fancied the late Bruce Lee role as it would afford ample opportunity for him to take his top off and display his muscular spray-tanned torso for the ladies.

"I'll even flash me cock if the director insists," Reid said. "I mean, it's not like I haven't done it before."

The original 70's kung-fu classic depicted a martial arts tournament on an island off the coast of China, and was conceived as a vehicle for Bruce Lee's martial arts prowess.

"Course I couldn't play a Chinaman," Reid told reporters. "We'd have to tweak the script a bit and make the hero a doorman from Billericay or sammink. Bit I fink it would definitely work. Be a box office smash. Probably. Providing the producers don't skimp on the sets and locations."

Reid's partner, Katie Price, aka glamour model Jordan was less enthusiastic.

"Alex is punching above his weight here," she told us. "We're supposed to be gettin' spliced in matrimony and we can hardly do that if he's off poncin' abaht in China makin' fillems. Innit."

A close friend of Reid's confirmed that Reid had been keen to star in a remake of Sly Stallone's Oscar winning 'Rocky' with Katie Price playing Adrian, but Reid was forced to abandon the idea because his voice is too squeaky and he can't put on an American accent. Outsiders also complained that Katie Price just wouldn't look right as Rocky Balboa's love interest, the demure plain Jane, Adrian.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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