Written by James Jameson

Monday, 4 January 2010

image for BNP in move to deport Doctor Who
dress now available from BNP stores

At a news conference held at BNP head quarters-the 17th century- BNP leader Nick Griffin announced his parties plans to deport the Doctor if elected. The Doctor who is currently leading the UK opinion polls is originally from the planet Galiffrey which according to the BNP makes the Doctor an illegal asylum seeker.

"Basically, this Doctor fellow shows up on our shores pays no tax and the good working class British heros are supposed to tollerate this?" Griffin continues "the BNP is the only party who is willing to stand up and say its time to take our land back from immigrant Time Lords."

In an on the street interview BNP supporter Anne Oldbiddy said "well I think its about time someone finally said it. I have never seen Doctor Who as it is on the Communist BBC but this Doctor chap should leave us alone. All I am saying is we never had his sort before the war."
BNP party member and potential candidate A.Skinhead added this "right, its high time we realize that this Doctor bloke is a foreigner and it don't matter whether they're black, Asian, African or a bloody Time Lord woteva mate don't matter if you ain't born here you ain't welcome."

One tricky subject has arisen though-it seems that the Doctor's home planet of Galifrey was destroyed in a war and thus the question is raised-as he has no home to go to why can't he stay here? Griffin responds "obviously I have great sympathies for the planet of Galifray and those lost in the Time War-although I do suspect the number of casualties not to be as high as the Time Lords say they are but I really don't see what that has to do with us. The UK never took sides during this war and granting the Doctor or any Time Lord a right to abode may be seen as breaking our neutrality. As for where he can go-why not Mars? They are both reddish planets after all."

When told that the Doctor has in fact saved many British lives Griffin says "all that means is that he is taking work away from British super heroes."

The Doctor sent out a press release in response stating "I feel sad that in these modern times the BNP are sticking to fear mongering and hatred. When I first came to Earth I had the whole planet to choose from but I chose this land for I believe in Britain and its wonderful peoeple. I will not let this campaign be bogged down in hatred instead, I choose to run on a platform of peace and unity."

Despite the passionate outcry of BNP members, the polls still show overwhelming support for the TLA.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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