British opposition demonstrators clash with police

Funny story written by matwil

Saturday, 19 December 2009

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Dozens of people - wow, dozens in a country with over 60 million people, not propaganda this, whew - yes, DOZENS have been arrested in the United Kingdom after violent confrontations between police and anti-government protesters on the streets of the capital London.

The protests, led by the usual lefty layabout trouble-making unwashed mob - I mean led by intelligent decent students, always those who mirror intelligent opposition to anything, especially when saying it with petrol bombs - were over the disputed non-elected Prime Minister Gordon Brown's appointment as an undemocratic tyrant.

British journalists were too busy writing ridiculous propaganda about democratically-elected Middle Eastern presidents to notice that the UK is a dictatorship, plus the British authorities already control the media and newspapers, so make sure the protests have all been censored.

Iranian state TV's reporter Tariq Iraq says that the government and Prime Minister Gordon Brown must feel deeply frustrated, as they still have not silenced protests, six months after Brown became unelected leader. All across Britain millions use pictures of Brown as targets on dart boards and as toilet paper, and, in a highly unusual move, they even dared to say 'Bring back Thatcher', the supreme leader of Middle England.

As protests continued across Britain, British state TV was broadcasting News 24 and Sky News, or what is also known as 'Feeble government propaganda about the Middle East that a child wouldn't believe', or 'Copying feeble US propaganda about the Middle East that a baby wouldn't believe', and Tariq Iraq said 'It is clear to the world that Brown has no support from the people, and was never even elected by the people.'

'Nor is there any political opposition to him - the so-called opposition parties are either run by a garden gnome who doesn't dare say a word against government propaganda or against British soldiers occupying foreign countries illegally, or another garden gnome that just blethers pish about nothing at all. Meanwhile billions of UK taxes are being wasted by the tyrant Brown on nuclear reactors and weapons.'

Many across the world are unhappy that an unelected leader such as Gordon Brown should be in charge of soldiers and nuclear power stations and hence nuclear weapons, and in the Middle East Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad hinted that Iranian troops might be sent to occupy Britain. 'When such a 'rogue' state as the UK, that aids the detested American war criminals in their continuing terrorism against and occupation of Middle Eastern countries, has a tyrant ruling it, democracies like Iran must take action.'

'We call for all democracies to invade the UK and the USA, the funders of world terrorism, and to replace their leaders and try them for war crimes. Bush Senior, Bush Junior, Anthony Blair, and now Barack Obama and Gordon Brown, have the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people on their hands, but America and Britain cannot get rid of such war criminals. So democracies like Iran must invent some cartoon cliches like 'axis of evil' and add a few 'surges' and 'roadmaps to nowhere', and must then carpet bomb city after city in those two countries in the name of peace and justice.'

But the unelected tyrant Brown himself managed to take a break from licking Barack Obama's boots to say this in reply to the Iranian elected leader. 'Iran is an ancient nation that managed to get rid of its own tyrant, the Shah of Iran, and replace him with a pretty much decent Muslim government that represents what most Iranians want. I.e. it's a democracy. Under such rule Iran has neither attacked nor invaded any other countries, it fought a long war against Saddam Hussein's Iraq, whose evil we used as an excuse to invade Iraq, despite us creating him in the first place and arming him!'

'But we must not allow Britain to become like Iran. We must not elect leaders, we must not stop invading other countries because America tells us to, we must not publicly criticise Israel, the worst regime in the world.'

'As for those who say I am an unelected tyrant, well ... er, look, it just isn't the British way to hold demonstrations against me and my government, is it? Demonstrations are another thing Iran allows - here we have in London our specially trained riot police to attack and beat protestors to death in front of TV cameras. No namby-pamby democracy for me!'

Despite massive news censorship and repression of any opposition in Britain, Gordon Brown is hoping that filling up the media with wall-to-wall propaganda about the democratically-elected Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will keep attention away from his own unpopular and unelected position. Many are predicting VE Day-like celebrations when Brown is finally deposed, or even celebrations like the ones when the Tories were finally ousted and Tony Blair became Prime Minister.

Which just shows you you can fool most of the people most of the time.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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