Louisville, Kentucky - This city received quite a surprise when it was occupied to day by peacekeeping forces deployed from the United Nations. The mulitnational force from India, Sweden, Italy and Russia quickly overwhelmed the local police and National Guard forces here, and quelled civilian dissent before it started.
Speaking from his command center, interim ruler General Hareem Jamalistan said, "We have already occupied not only the communication and transportation centers here, but every Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant in town. And the corporate headquarters of KFC. The president of that rogue 'grilled nation' is now in custody, and awaiting trial."
General Jamalistan refers to KFC president Roger Eaton, believed to have authorized the break in at the United Nations building recently in an attempt to gain a "recognition" of his "grilled nation". The invader, dressed as, and identifying himself as "Colonel Sanders" intruded upon several leaders of the U.N. that day.
"What did KFC think would happen? That we would have a military man enter the U.N., demand recognition of a rogue nation, and there'd be no consequences?", asked the General. "The consequence is that they are now recognized, and now pacified as well."
President Eaton is expected to be flown to the Hague to stand trial for the illegal invasion of the U.N. building, which actually enjoys extra-territoriality from the United States. He faces further charges of threats against foreign dignitaries.
Reached by a Red Cross representative in his 6 by 6 cell, a dirty and bruised President Eaton seemed dazed. "We only wanted a boost in sales for the fourth quarter, it was just a stunt.", he stammered, before fainting again in his restraints.
Officials are already dismissing this defense. "It is not a joke or a stunt to send a military man to invade an embassy and demand recognition of a supposed nation. One wonders how President Eaton would have reacted if someone had shown up at one of his board meetings identifying themselves as a Colonel and issuing demands. He would call the law, we imagine, and be right in doing so.", said General Jamalistan. "Well, we are the law."
The expected penalty is death, and the disbanding of the 24,000 members of this rogue "grilled nation" is expected to be without further incident. The assets of this KFC are to be divided up amongst the nations who's dignitaries were impeded.