Man killed in restaurant for eating pie

Funny story written by Frank Miller

Tuesday, 27 October 2009


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image for Man killed in restaurant for eating pie
A pie similar to the one eaten by Mr Morgan at Boobies

The case for the Manchester pie killing was closed yesterday with a guilty verdict against the staff of London based 'Boobies Family Steakhouse' of killing Manchester man and pie lover Anthony Morgan after he was caught eating a pie.

Mr Morgan (56, Male, from Manchester, pie eater, dead) had smuggled a hot pie from a chip shop on the same road, into the restaurant, sat down and began to eat whilst other guests enjoyed dessert.

Disgruntled staff members including a waiter, chef and duty manager all ran at his table swinging what appeared to be huge clubs that were in fact whole legs of a cow.

Eye witnesses tell of bone crunching sounds as Mr Morgan was savagely beaten in a kill frenzy which lasted for 30 minutes.

One witness said, "We thought it was some bizarre entertainment so we just watched. They turned him into burger meat while we ate our dessert"

Another said, "I said to my husband after about ten minutes into the beating, 'I think this is fake', I had no idea it was real, it didn't look like it does when someone is beaten to death on the telly".

The jury decided that the killing was un lawful and the assailants face a 5 year sentence each. There was no way of knowing who actually struck the killing blow since an autopsy was virtually impossible.

The restaurant owner's lawyer had this to say, "My clients are very upset by this verdict. The sign above the restaurant door clearly says that the management reserves the right to beat to death those caught eating a pie. Mr Morgan knew the risks, which is why we will be appealing this decision."

The appeal will go the International Court of Human rights later this month.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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