David Beckham becomes Amish

Funny story written by tennisman

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

image for David Beckham becomes Amish
The Beckham's new Amish-style barn in Hertfordshire

Finally, its been decided. After numerous changes of image, David Beckham confirmed that tonight's look is more than that. He and his family have actually become Amish.

Sporting the trademark beard of the Mennonite people usually associated with Pennsylvania, Beckham's second half substitution in tonight's final World Cup Qualifier against Belarus made him the first Amish to play International football since Olaf Von Pilau, the half Dutch, half Indian holding midfielder who was selected for Old Holland in The Edam European Championhips of 1896.

The newly designed England kit started the Dagenham born star on the road to his new life. 'It was so simple. Just like Amish clothing' he told us from his new barn in Hertfordshire. 'I was also looking for a simpler life. LA living is especially about money and material wealth. But when our car broke down and the only way to get it to the garage was towing it on the back of a horse drawn cart, something clicked for me'.

'The beard was really the last piece of the jigsaw', he continued. 'But I really like it. Don't you? Crouchy thinks I look like a Werewolf!'.

Beckham's wife Victoria is not so happy about Amish ways and David has had to apply to the Elders for a special dispensation for her to continue using her mobile phone. He also denies concerns about their sons' ability to get through Rumspringa when the time comes.

Fabio Capello was not worried with the possibility that Beckham's new Amish beard will slow him down. 'These days, I only expect heem to walk anyway', the England Coach was heard to mutter, 'It weel not be a problem.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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