Teachers in the UK believe that children with certain names are likelier to cause more trouble than others, according to a poll released today.
The 'Teachers Pest' list has been compiled after representatives from parenting club mumswet.com had had the opportunity to be talked at by around 3,000 teachers.
"We found that the perception from teachers is that if your child is named Adolf, they believe he is more likely to try to annex Austria and declare war on everybody, including his pet goldfish. Children who are named 'Gordon', 'Tony', or brothers called 'David and Ed', are likely to lie through their teeth. A child named Chelsea is likely to sulk if it doesn't win something, and will resort to stealing and bullying to get its own way."
As the Daily Mail keep reminding us, the country is now full to almost sinking with foreigners, too, who also interestingly have names, many of which are peculiar however to readers of that particular publication. "Children called Osama -or possibly Usama-", said pre-school teacher and part-time pole dancer, Miss Felicity Shagwell, "are likely to spend time in Kindergarten trying to knock other children's brick towers over, or spend time hidden under a table which is draped with a dark blanket, speaking into an audio cassette recorder, using phrases like 'Gee-hard', 'Deff-two-iffidel', or something similar."
Felicity Shagwell, 36c,27,37, has her own website (over 18's only), is very discrete, and is available for private bookings.
