Celebrities Unsure Whether To Call Norwich Union Aviva Yet Or Not

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Friday, 17 April 2009

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Ringo's real name is Alice

A poll of celebrities by ITN has found that over 75% are not sure if they should be using the name Norwich Union or Aviva for the UK's largest insurance company. It follows months of advertising on TV and in newspapers and magazines saying that Norwich Union is soon to be known as Aviva.

Some celebrities seemed to know more about it than others. Ringo Starr, Alice Cooper and Bruce Willis all said that they were all 'very aware' of when the change was to take place. However, most celebrities that had kept their own names were completely in the dark, with Mel Gibson and Zac Efron both saying they were 'completely unaware'. Bruce Forsythe-Johnson said he was 'neither aware nor unaware'.

Aviva is Europe's fifth largest insurance company, and the advertising campaign to rebrand as Aviva from Norwich Union is, at £9 million, one of the most expensive in UK insurance company history.

Once the Aviva name is adopted, the firm joins the esteemed company of Starburst sweets, Cif cleaner, Snickers bars and Oil of Olay. The name change is predicted to be in June, but most celebrities were not aware of this. Lulu and Destiny Hope Cyrus knew, but Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton didn't.

When we contacted the company and asked when the new name would come into effect we were told 'soon'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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