London - (Rotters): Residents at an exclusive Chester Square apartment block claim former UK Prime Monster Margaret Thatcher is close to blowing herself up "if everything proceeds according to plan".
The news comes after the block's vermin exterminator found evidence that the old ratbag has been hoarding lighter gas canisters ahead of a 9/11 commemorative fiesta.
"Yeah, she's been seen sniffing solvents and playing with matches," the resident janitor commented.
"Hopefully she'll doing it somewhere in the open like outside the North Korean embassy in Tel Aviv."
Police have stepped up security patrols in the exclusive Belgravia neighbourhood following reports of a possible suicide pact with dissident Zoroastrian factions linked to the Bernard Madoff Ponzi scam.
Peaches Geldof is 22.
