Two Old Heavyweights Reunited

Funny story written by Earl Grey

Saturday, 29 August 2009

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The cold stare of the prize fighter

Seconds Out! Two former heavyweight fighters were reunited yesterday for one last time. Margaret Thatcher, known as the Greatest or the Iron Lady, met her old rival Neil Kinnock, the Windbag. It was an emotional meeting. The pair were famous for their clashes in the 1980s, when Thatcher would repeatedly be on the ropes and Kinnock kept failing to land the knockout blow.

The pair were taken on an open-top tour of London and they received a standing ovation from the crowd, a Mr Neville Dickblatt of Hemel Hempsted. During their drive, the pair kept up a friendly conversation. Thatcher claimed that she was going to make a comeback and said that "Brown is going down". Kinnock insisted that he had been the only fighter to ever really shake Thatcher in her prime. "I hurt her at Westland, you know. I could have been the Champ."

Thatcher has been battling Mad Cow's Disease for nearly twenty years. She is on tour raising money for her charity, the Thatcher Retirement Foundation. Since Thatcher retired, after being knocked out by the lightweight Geoffrey Howe, the title has changed hands several times. John 'The Grey Man' Major lost the title when he mistakenly put his underpants on his head. 'Teflon' Tony Blair retired undefeated but he never fought a top ranked contender, preferring a 'bum of the month' campaign. Now the current champion is 'Glass Eye' Gordon Brown. He is preparing a title defense against Dave 'The Toff' Cameron, although we should watch out for Randy Mandy, the Harlepool Harpoon, who fancies his chances.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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