For the 4th time in two short weeks, plucky little Great Britain has triumphed against the giants!
We are the most violent nation in the world!
Crime figures issued today show that we are more violent than any European country and have even taken on and beatenthe USA and South Africa.
In a triumphal address from his fortified bunker, new Home Secretary Alan Johnson took credit for many aspects of the triumph.
"We start training early in our nurseries, creches and primary schools. We fund single mothers to place their offspring in ill-equipped, badly supervised environments and then let nature take its course.
After all", observed the Home Secretary, "we have to make sure the kids can defend themselves, because the police do not have the time what with victimising drivers".
When asked for his views on how the news will affect the vital tourist industry the Home Secretary responded "We hope that our position at the top of the league will attract the cream of world-wide louts and savages to holiday in Britain - if fact we have a new slogan - Come On If You Think You're Hard Enough which Mayor Boris Johnson (no relation) will announce later today".
Mr Johnson (no relation)closed his remarks by observing that "this Labour Government has worked hard to get Britain into this winning position - let's use it as a springboard to even greater things".