Written by Kent Pete

Thursday, 6 August 2009

image for No Sex Please, We're British MP

Ex-minister Caroline Flint, who resigned saying she was not being taken seriously by male colleagues, says she has no regrets about a magazine photo shoot that has upset Downing Street.

Tets Out

In an interview with the Observer Newspaper, Caroline Flint, who stood down as Europe Minister claiming she had been used as "window dressing", said she had no regrets about the News of the World magazine pictures published last month. She says: "I'm not ashamed of doing women's magazines".

"If we can get women to think that politics matter and make a connection between politicians and their own lives, then that can only be a good thing. Initially I could not see why I was asked to do a topless photoshoot however the editor assured me it would help to establish a relationship with the electorate. I suppose only time will tell whether or not it was a good career move".

UK Fiscal Policy

She claims that in Gordon Brown's Government women were used as "a smokescreen, a way of making it look like you've got a lot of women around the table" without letting them influence anything.

"I recently asked the Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling why he believed that a public net investment of around 2% of GDP was the most economically (and politically) desired level. I remember he looked very awkward, started to giggle and asked me if I'd watched 'Britain's Got Talent' on TV and what I thought of Susan Boyle"

And did that thing he does with his bottom lip

Asked if Mr Brown himself had a problem with women, Ms Flint said:

"He'd have to answer that. However I do believe that he is afraid of female sexuality. I innocently announced during a cabinet meeting that I would have to leave the room for a short while to adjust my stockings. Gordon went strangely silent, stared out of the window and did that thing he does with his bottom lip. He was in exactly the same position when I returned several minutes later. It was so very different under Tony (Blair). He actively encouraged my femininity"

However since her resignation on Friday rumours have surfaced that Ms Clint often used her sexuality to win over male colleagues in parliament.

Barcelona 2 Manchester United 0

One time jazz pianist and MP for Leigh Andrew Burnham told our Home Affairs correspondent yesterday:

"To be honest I am rather pleased to see the Rt Hon member for the Don Valley resign. Many times I saw Ms Flint use her undoubted feminine charms to change the way MPs voted. Is it not undemocratic that the 2008 Counter terrorism Bill allowing the Police power to detain terror suspects for up to 42 days only passed through the Commons after Ms Flint promised not to wear any knickers at a forthcoming Prime Minister's Question Time?

Yes, If I wasn't happily married and 18 and a half stone I probably would

For readers wishing to learn more about Ms Flint her autobiography 'The Breast of Both Worlds' is due for publication later this year.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: Sex, Parliament, MPs

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