British unite against Archbishops

Funny story written by matwil

Sunday, 24 May 2009

image for British unite against Archbishops
'I started dabbling in politics, soon needed a new hat'

The British today have urged people not to let ridicule about weird freaks being Archbishops drive them to writing spoof articles about them.

Two of the freaks, Dr Rowan Pervy and Dr John Pervu, said it would be 'tragic' if they lost their jobs, and started dressing like normal men. Their statement said disillusionment with grown men walking around in purple frocks and having hair that wouldn't disgrace a Van der Graaf generator was understandable, but that shouldn't drive people to shout 'weirdo!' or 'pervert!' at such Archbishops.

Dr Pervy and Dr Pervu said forthcoming elections had absolutely nothing to do with any churches, and walking around in women's clothes and pretending to be the Pope but not being Roman Catholics made them look like badly-dressed, insincere clowns.

'OK', said Mr Dr Pervy, 'there's absolutely no reason for the Church of England to even exist. If you want to be a Catholic, no problem, if you want to be a genuine Protestant - a 'Puritan' - even easier, but the good old C of E is everything and nothing to everyone and nobody.

Basically a mouthpiece for the Conservative Party, with a bit of the Vatican muddled up with a bit of John Knox's teachings, and, let's face it, a hundred per cent irrelevant in 21st century Britain.'

And why a ridiculous git dressed like a woman with bleached hair talking with marbles in his mouth, that you wouldn't trust your child to spend a minute with, thinks he has anything to say about the elections of the United Kingdom is not only a complete mystery to everyone, it's also the best argument for the suppression of the Church of England since Sir Thomas More tried to dabble in politics.

Go and become Tory MPs, Drs Pervy and Pervu, and leave the religion to the religious. Here endeth the first lesson.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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