PADDINGTON, LONDON - A devastating fire which killed just one person is said to be the result of a 'freak' accident involving the deceased.
Forensics at the scene indicte the fire was no accident. It was a result of a very peculiar series of events which eventually proved disastrous.
The deceased who we will call 'Mr P' unwittingly begun his day with a large plate of baked beans, sausages and eggs; your typical british breakfast. Note that this is a particularly proteineous breakfast. 'Mr P' then dragged his overweight body over to his Acer desktop computer to read the daily news from thespoof.com.
While reading a story about a broken boiler, he was brought to stitches by the article, commencing very a heavy and laborious laughter. Like many overweight people, 'Mr P' passed gas as he laughed.
Evidence indicates that the gas passed by the obese man was unusually high in methane gas due to the high protein meal he had earlier that morning. The methane gas is said to have then settled to the floor around the desktop.
'Mr P' then decided to open a fresh packet of crisps. It was then that things went horribly wrong. As the crisps were opened, nitrogen gas used to preserve the crisps was released into the air, increasing the nitrogen air content by 0.0000000001%. A deadly mix when coupled with the methane gas already on the floor. 'Mr P' was now sitting in a ticking time bomb. The smallest spark could result in a fire.
Then, forensics claim, the unthinkable happened. A fly buzzed its way into the rear exaust fan of the Acer desktop, causing friction which set off the fire. The house was engulfed in a phenominal flame.
Forensics however did not suspect any foul play despite the ciggerette lighter, liquor bottle and smell of deisel at the scene.