Rome - (Unholy Mess): In a prime time televised audience on Monday the Pope will tell Prince Charles 'why he had Diana topped' and hand him the legal bills for all the ensuing ungodly fuss.
Charles and his live-in fag hag Camilla are travelling to the Vatican this weekend to atone for their sins and bung His Holiness a couple of hundred grands' worth of BP Oil shares after thrashing out a deal about the sordid God's Banker 'suicide' business of '82.
Charles will then attempt to pacify Papa Ratzi with an invitation for an Official Papal Visit to one of the Old Queen Mum's semi-derelict Scottish hunting lodges on the Isle of Lewis, scene of the infamous Satanic Ritual Abuse hoaxes of 2003.
Two of Moors Murderer Myra Hindley's relatives are on the Rome freebie in the capacity of official ladies in waiting to Camilla.
