Sion Simon, MP and 'all round' pot to toss in, has claimed he was cajoled by imaginary writer Monkey Woods, to say unfunny and daft things about Caledonian Cutie Dame Susan Boyle.
The Spoof-writer of notable but not great talent, implied Susie may or may not have been the cause of swine flu. The story was read by many thousands of credulous people, who called for a torched, mob march to West Lothian. Mr Simon may not have been one of those people
Nevertheless he does have a name, which to this day attracts over two thousand school bullies to his home and his politician's surgery. One of the bullies, Pongo Snodgrass of 29 Whizzer and Chips Avnue, claims Mr Sion Simon has a spine made of half a dozen yellow jelly babies.
Sion Simon who gets paid for doing MP stuff thought it was amusing to join in with the big boys and also blame our saint Susan for swine flu. Needless to say, he has not caught his own Miss Piggy reflection in the mirror.
Equally pointless Tories, who of course found the link between Virgin Susan and swine flu, lightly amusing, became inappropriately irate when these words were twittered by this Billy Bunter Look-a-Likey Sion Simon.
It is thought the dosser Gordon Brown is very angry and has given Sion Simon some lines to do, in addition to some very hard sums.
This morning our reporters could see Sion gazing out of a 10 Downing Street window , while other MP's were allowed to play in the street, eat ice cream and play with the 'New' gym balls.
"He will have no recess for two weeks" said Gordon Brown folding his arms, sporting his familiar avuncular, and disingenuous expression.
We were instructed by GB's aides, to only pose questions concerning entertainment, sport and soap-operas, as they are his STRONG subjects.