Written by Phil Edgar's Bones

Wednesday, 29 April 2009


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image for Secret tape of Susan Boyle singing "Oooh Bodyfurm" in the eighties revealed
'Ohhhh Bodyfurm- advert from the eighties gave many confidence to stand on hills!

Producers at BGT are shamed-faced today, as tin-eared deranged, viewers of the programme have identified Susan Boyle as the voice behind the must have product of the eighties-'Bodyfurm Ladies thing-a-me-bobs.'

The advert was a breakthrough; as before the eighties ladies 'parts' and 'personal sanitary things' were never discussed on the TV. Ironically ladies had been allowed to strut around in the nude since the 1960s - for artistic purposes only.

Fans believe Susan Boyle was picked to sing the breakthrough advert because of her beautiful voice and not so easy on the eye face. The ad featured a prettier woman or man standing on a hill, being pleased about her or his time of the month.

Susan Boyle was not the woman in the advert, but keen eared fans of Susan have been listening to over ten thousand adverts and have attributed the Karaoke favorite "Oooh Bodyfurm, shaped for me, shape for you and I'm confident Oooooh ooooh" to the Caledonian songstress Susie Boyle.

Mr Pedro Gonsalez of Peru said " She sing like an angel, She make me wanna wear Bodyfurm shaped for me".

Mr Stanley Jacobean-Needlepoint of Oxley reminisced " I remember the advert in the eighties it was the best thing on televison, when it came on , I would cry with religious fervour and literally punch people in the mouth if they spoke while it was on. It was very embarrassing as one day I punched my wife, the vicar, the dog and the alderman all in the face. They understood my reasons and held no malice against me."

The uncovering of the advert has sparked a rush of bodyfurm wearing by men, women, children and Russell Brands all over the world. The "Ohhhhh Bodyfurm" song is now the fourth most popular karaoke track being bought in the world, behind "I dream a dream', "I don't know how to love him", and "My ding a ling" all made famous by Susan Boyle.

A spokesman for BGT said "We are not aware of Susan Boyle singing 'oooh Bodyfurm' or any other sanitary product song. However we cannot be sure if she sang the 'Shake and Vak' song or 'I'm a secret lemonade drinker' - we may possibly never know".

Susan was not at home - to sign boxes of 'Bodyfurm' for people who always take these things too far. She is thought to be staying with her sister and Mr Pebbles esq.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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