London - (Great Wailing Wall of China Mess): A five thousand year-old Chinese Jade Goody dead-ringer statue of a buffalo - or 'ancient oriental horny cow' - has been discovered in a rusty old trunk at a car boot sale in Wapping.
Experts from the Antiques Roadhog immediately valued it at half a million pounds because of its uncanny similarity to the UK's most profitable cash-cow "before Susan Boyle".
The six inch ornament dating from the Ping Dynasty Pingalong Period (3036-2915 BC) was bought for just 20p by a housewife from Tower Hamlets because of its startling similarity to former reality tv contestant Jade.
Today a spokesman for the UK Oriental Ceramic Society said it looked like "one of the most ambitious and monumental examples of Jade hoaxes ever worked in China."
The artifact will be auctioned later this month.