London - (Frightful Eyebrows Mess): "Sure bet he'd like to get his claws into that one!" was the only comment from Britain's Got Talons! judge Piers Morgan today following reports that voracious PR guru Max Clifford thinks frumpy lardass entertainer Susan Boyle is the new Jade Goody.
The 47 year-old ITV wannabe's rendition of Cry Me a River was watched by millions including Hollywood movie actress Demi Moore who later told reports she had been 'sick as a dog' - er....'reduced to tears!' by the entire performance.
Few would blame her.
But is Ms Boil-on-the-Bum really the new TV superstar that will replace the RIP Jade Goody as the nation's favorite wannabe no-hoper?
"She's probably Simon Cowell's long lost birth mother," internet spread betting index Aintgottaprayer.con sources said today, "so she's in with a chance of winning."