Written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 15 April 2009

image for Jade Goody Sentenced To Life Imprisonment
"I had that violent bastard in my cab once..."

There was concern today that the courts may be misinterpreting new sentencing guidelines. In one case Jade Goody was sentenced to life imprisonment for crimes against the English language. She is expected to serve her sentence somewhere in Essex.

Campaigners quickly pointed out a potential discrepancy. Stephanie Prude, a campaigner for many causes, said "Her sentence was far too harsh. One guy attacked a taxi driver and could have killed the driver, himself and two other people. All he got was 12 weeks in jail and a fortnight in Benidorm. Is that justice?"

Goody's sentence looks harsh compared to this case. In the latter, the individual in question had previous form and has used recent events to manipulate public opinion to help him get a shorter sentence.

Taxi drivers today cancelled a planned demonstration. A spokesman said "Sorry, I ain't going South of the river."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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