Lib Dems call for ban on OAP drinking

Funny story written by Piemaster

Thursday, 5 March 2009

image for Lib Dems call for ban on OAP drinking
old lady

The discovery that soaring numbers of elderly people are being treated on the NHS for alcohol related illnesses has led to calls for a ban on the sale of alcohol to over-65s.

"It's disgraceful that large numbers of OAPs are consuming vast amounts of alcohol and consequently NHS resources that could be better used to treat foreigners" said Lib Dem Shadow Health Minister Sandra Giggley. "They should also be avoiding other unhealthy activities like knitting, sitting in high backed chairs and excessive use of walk-in baths."

The party has also criticised the use of inappropriate role models in advertising such as June Whitfield and Michael Parkinson, claiming their saga lout is a bad influence on easily led pensioners.

Giggley continued "We are appalled by the senseless waste of life caused by elderly alcohol abuse. The Queen Mother was known to be fond of a tipple and passed away at the tragically young age of 101."

Sources within the NHS have privately admitted they don't have a problem with over-age drinking. "I know I'd rather spend my old age in a drunken stupour and die of liver failure than sufer neglect at the hands of agency nurses in a geriatric ward until I catch an infection and endure a slow painful death" said one.

Former Lib Dem leader Charles Kennedy was too pissed to comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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