Written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

image for Oz and James Visit Russia
Drink up the British public are buying

Oz Clarke and James May have unveiled plans for their new series. So far the pair have got pissed at the license payers expense in France, the USA and Britain. Now they are on their way to Russia.

In 'Oz and James Drink Toilet Cleaner And Die In A Russian Prison Cell' the pair visit some genuine illicit Russian alcohol factories. Oz explains the intricacies of drinking floor polish, white spirit and toilet cleaner, whilst James throws up repeatedly.

All the while they engage in the merry upper class banter which has made them so popular with the viewing public. "I say Oz old chap is there anymore of that chateaux Domestos?"

"Sorry dear boy you finished it all"

During the series they hire a Lada and spend the whole week stuck in a genuine Moscow traffic jam, drinking in all those lovely petrol fumes.

The BBc are also planning further series for some other stars. Jonathan Ross and Russell Brand are to run their own retirement home in a series entitled "Sachs and Drugs".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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