Scotland Adopts Prohibition

Funny story written by Roy Turse

Saturday, 14 February 2009

image for Scotland Adopts Prohibition
Prohibition is not being welcomed by everyone

Scotland has decided to adopt radical new alcohol prohibition laws. Under the scheme it will become illegal to serve, sell or drink alcohol anywhere in Scotland apart from on New Year's Eve. The new laws, which come into effect on May 1st 2009, will mean the closure of thousands of Pubs and Clubs across Scotland.

Publicans in English border areas are gearing up for a massive nightly influx of visitors from Scotland. Supermarkets and Off Licences in England have been sent letters from their local licensing bodies, asking them to verify peoples nationality before selling them alcohol as supplying a Scot will be an offence.

Supporters of the scheme say it will reduce accidents, cut out unsociable behaviour and improve the health of millions. They believe that the cost savings to the average household in Scotland will free up disposable income and that this in turn will help to kick-start the economy.

"This is one of a whole raft of new laws that the Scottish Parliament intends to adopt, now that we have a level of independence within the UK," said MSP Hector McBrevity, "I don't think we should get too exited about one particular law."

Opposition MSPs have been quick to attack the idea though, claiming that it will create a '1920s America' style underground drinking culture, characterised by Speakeasies and the involvement of organised crime.

In the run up to 'Dry Day' on 1st May, massive parties are being planned across Scotland. Some are rallies, organised to protest about the law; others are simply being held as a memorial to the old way of life.

So as the May 1st deadline approaches, there is still plenty of heated debate about the law. And Wales has suggested that if the scheme is successful it may well follow suit within a year.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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