Written by Factus Factorum

Wednesday, 4 February 2009

image for Ken Clarke MP spontaneously combusts
Fireman Joe Smoke the only person ever to be captured on film spontaneously combusting back in 1954

The Tory stalwart politician Ken Clarke spontaneously combusted during a business luncheon in London this afternoon.

The Shadow Business Secretary was in the middle of a speech at Mansion House

Camilla Cheval was sitting next to him when it happened. "It was awful one minute he was guffawing at his own joke the next there was a bang, smell of burning flesh, wisps of smoke and he was gone."

Peter Entwhistle was also present, "I couldn't believe it when it happened. I looked into my pint of Guiness and found both his cufflinks bobbing up and down."

Jonathan Herhahah, a close friend of Mr Clarke, paid this tribute. "He always said his career would go up in smoke someday, but I don't think even he quite meant this."

The Tory leader David Cameron summed up the feeling in Parliament.

"Ken was hugely talented man. It takes some doing to just combust spontaneously. I don't know many people who could do that. And true to the end he was a very considerate man."

Thankfully Ken was largely unharmed by the ordeal.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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