Church condemn nursery rhyme as "evil"

Funny story written by Specs Haver

Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Last week, the "Hokey Cokey" was targeted by the Catholic Church in Scotland as a 'faith hate' song - but now another rhyme widely taught to children in the English-speaking world has come under fire from a Church leader.

Cardinal Keith O'Brien described the cockney knees-up song recently as having "disturbing origins", claiming that it mocked the Latin utterings and actions of a Catholic mass.

Now the Most Incredibly Highly Reverend McPherson McSurname of the Tiny Wee Free Kirk of Auchterstrathinver in the north of Scotland has added fuel to the fire, by claiming that "Ba-Ba Black Sheep" summons up evil spirits whenever it is sung by a child who has born on the Sabbath (a Sunday).

"Look what happened to the Highlands of Scotland in the 1700s - people died. Same with Ireland in the 1800s - people died. The Sabbath is Gods day - a day of rest, when no work should be done. The only activity that should take place is going to Church 3 times during the day. So any child born on a Sunday is evil, forcing the mother to miss Church and the midwife to have to work and miss Church. If the child then sang …. "that rhyme" …. it brought terrible pestilence on the whole area.

But why "Ba-Ba Black sheep", as opposed to something else ? Draped entirely in black clothes, the Reverend explained - "Sheep have a … how can I put it…. special place in our community. Especially the black ones. Such matters should never be sung about - its a personal matter."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more