As shareholders consider whether to accept the Lloyds TSB offer, the HBOS board are said to be considering a "plan B" for raising capital if the offer is turned down - namely a "Children in Need" type of telethon appeal
A spokesman explained - "Children in Need raised more than £37 million last year, on the basis of a few soap stars and newsreaders making a fool of themselves for free. Talk about easy money! We're looking at doing something similar - called "Banks in Need". But we wouldn't stoop as low as to simply ask for donations - that wouldn't be right. Instead, viewers can press the Red Button, and pledge their money as a stake in a roulette game, where there's a chance of winning thousands of pounds. Of course, they'll probably lose the lot - a bit like some of the investment products we've flogged them recently.
"To keep them entertained, we'll have that Mr Brown bloke from the Halifax adverts doing karaoke requests, plus an exciting competiton where contestants see who can fill in a mortgage application form the quickest - called Strictly Refinancing.
"Also, we're going to sponsor ITV Daytime. I mean, all those sad folks watching Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women - they should be easy pickings to flog our 34.9 % APR credit cards to."
