UK beer sales in decline

Written by Dr Will C U Now

Monday, 27 October 2008

image for UK beer sales in decline
A shocked Mr Al Kaholic reads the news of flagging beer sales.

The British Beer and Pub Association (BBPA) said increased alcohol taxes was another reason for a sales slump equivalent to 1.8 million pints a day.

Overall sales from July to September fell by 7.2% - compared with the same period a year ago, the BBPA said.

Gordon Brown has taken the unprecedented step of setting up a task force to fight the problem.

"We will be recruiting some of the greatest drunks in the country to help bring about a revival in the industry." said Gordon Brown.

Britains top drunk Mr D.Runkard was too drunk to comment however his assistant Mr Al Kaholik said "Aarrggh besshmn shabbpl flnge grpple shmrn."

Some recommendations that have already been suggested are the introduction of a free pint for school children at lunch times, revamping the drink driving laws to make it illegal to drive sober and extra strength brands like Special Brew available on prescription.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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