Good news for New Labour. They have managed to win a vote. Glasgow MP Tom Harris has been voted Idiot of the year by the public.
It was a surprise choice as until earlier today nobody had ever heard of the junior government minister.
The early favourites had been Wayne Rooney, Simon Cowell, Abu Hamza and Prince Charles, who has won more times than anybody else.
Harris stole the title with an amazing last-gasp effort. He asked "Why were the British people so miserable?" and did not believe that there could be even one genuine answer, never mind the thousands of answers that came flooding in.
In a move of breathtaking stupidity and arrogance the political nonentity has suddenly become hot property. Experienced political analysts expect him to be appointed to the cabinet immediately. Gordon Brown needs a complete buffooon to draw attention away from himself. Harris is thought to be an ideal candidate for the job.
What do we know about Harris? Well, very little. He lives with his mum, is single, listens to Leonard Cohen records and collects ornamental shoe horns.
On being presented with his award Harris fainted and several passers by rushed forward to kick his head in.
