One joint and you're a psycho - MPs in denial

Written by ranger121

Friday, 27 July 2007

image for One joint and you're a psycho - MPs in denial

A survey is published today that tells us that the risk of developing mental health problems is increased by 40% after just one smoke of cannabis.

Writing in the Lancet, a team led by Dr Stanley Zammit from Bristol and Cardiff Universities said young people needed to be made aware of the dangers.

But the survey comes as a bit of a shock to most MPs now patrolling the corridors of power in Westminster, as large numbers have already admitted to having used the drug in the past.

So, by deduction, most of these MPs are now psychotic nutters who ought to be locked up.

"Not really news to me," said the Drugs Czar. "They all ought to be locked up, what with some of the crap they come out with. Come to think about it, this really explains a lot."

Recent admissions of cannabis use include the Home Secretary, who was clearly stoned when she made the statement. The Home Secretary, who is to head the review of the UK's drugs strategy, said she had smoked it "just a few times," (last week) had "not particularly" enjoyed it (mood was wrong) and had not taken any other illegal drugs. "Apart from a few Es and the odd line of coke. A couple of Herion trips. Barbs, uppers, downers, Tramadol. Some GHB. Bit of whizz. Oh, and someone slipped a roofie in my drink once. But that's it. Definitely. Did I mention PCP?"

There are an estimated 2m regular users of cannabis in the UK. This means that there are probably in excess of 280,000 psychos. As they're all employed as traffic wardens, that's alright then.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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