Teenager not stabbed in Harrogate - leaders dismayed

Funny story written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 27 May 2008


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A resident's reaction to no stabbing incident in Harrogate

The scene outside the "Spinal Taps" public house in Harrogate was chaotic last night as revellers spilled onto the street to find that a teenager had not been stabbed.

Local residents were said to be in a state of shock when they learned this morning that after a night which saw copious amounts of drink imbibed, no one had even been threatened, let alone stabbed.

Chief Inspector Con Stable of the North Yorkshire police force said:

"This is the lighter side of terrible for the town. To have binge drinkers, some of them women, even with tattoos and dreadful South Leeds accents, spill onto the streets of the town, with no violence occurring, is, well, downright dreadful.

"To think that drinkers in Harrogate can stagger into their local kebab shop, get served, spill hot chilli sauce down their frontage and then catch taxis home in complete safety is totally beyond my comprehension.

"OK, there were shouts of "mingin", "get yer kit off Mike" and "show us yer tits Kylie", but the fact that this was all in a good-natured fashion and a bit of fun is just simply unacceptable.

"This behaviour has kept Harrogate off the front pages of the tabloids,which is a situation we cannot possibly endure."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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