Robert Mugabe, the dictatorial supremist who is currently running Zimbabwe…into the ground that is…is set to receive a special honour from The Queen.
Directed by Stephen Frears and starring Helen Mirren, James Cromwell and Alex Jennings, the film "The Queen" is acknowledged as the nearest Robert Mugabe will ever get to the Royal Family.
Dr Professor Archbishop Rabbi Mullah Field-General Mugabe is set to receive the "ROB" - "Royal Order of Bath" - as he is the only person in Zimbabwe who can manage to be in very hot water in a country that has neither the water nor the electricity to heat it.
The ceremony will be held in the burnt-out shell of the Harare Odeon, in front of a packed to capacity and at gun-point crowd.
As well as a specially-commissioned 22 carat gold, diamond-encrusted statuette valued at almost a million dollars, he will also receive a special emolument of $400,000 in cash which has been specially purloined by war veteran militia from the Harare branch of Coutts.
A highly delighted and excitable Mugabe said:
"This is wonderful and so deserved. I could not think of a better person for me to give this award and money to. I have a special place for it on the mantelpiece in my 24-bedroom mansion. Incidentally, the mantelpiece has been crafted by my war veterans from the bones of MDC members, although I reiterate that when Mr Morgan Tsvangirai returns home to contest the election run-off that he already won, I can unreservedly guarantee his safety until my war veterans murder him."
