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Funny story: MP Arrested Entering Parliament With Knife

MP Arrested Entering Parliament With Knife

Police in London have made an arrest at the entrance to the Houses of Parliament, after receiving a tip-off that an MP was planning to enter the building armed with a knife. The operation to apprehend the culprit was carried out away from the eyes...

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Funny story: Stabbing Now More Popular Than Slapping Someone In The Chops

Stabbing Now More Popular Than Slapping Someone In The Chops

A study on knife crime based in London, has concluded that stabbing is now more popular than harmlessly slapping someone in the chops. Stabbing, which used to be seen as a 'last resort', has made giant leaps and bounds in the recent past, and is n...

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Funny story: British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

British Government to take guns and knives away from prisoners

In a bold move to reduce prison violence, the British government has announced that it will be taking away guns and knives from prisoners. The policy, which will be introduced in early 2017, will mean that prisoners in UK jails will no longer be able...

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Funny story: O.J. Simpson - Have sword will travel

O.J. Simpson - Have sword will travel

Earlier this morning Med Star filming crew set up props on O.J. Simpson's former estate. They were preparing to film the last three episodes of Forensic Files. Filming was interrupted when the Prop Master found a knife buried under the Director's...

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Funny story: Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

Head Of Secret Service Doesn't Get Firing

President Obama today fired Julia Peterson, head of the beleaguered Secret Service. Her strange testimony yesterday before congressional lawmakers was, no doubt, one of the reasons. When Chairman Issa asked her to explain why a deranged man carry...

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Funny story: Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

Firestone Develops A Tire Made From Recycled Milk Containers

NASHVILLE, Tennessee - The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company has revealed to the public that they've just developed a brand new ultra-modern tire. The tire, known as the RMC-600, was developed totally out of recycled milk containers. The compan...

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Funny story: A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

A Man In Toledo Ohio Invents An Army Penknife With 93 Tools

TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...

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Funny story: Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car

Governor request intensified search for butter knife killer after he crosses red line and gases couple in smart car

Governor Martin O'Malley has made a request for Maryland police to step up efforts to catch the butter knife killer after he crossed an alleged red line by gassing a couple in their smart car.The butter knife killer has killed 10 people in the Maryla...

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Funny story: Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool erect customs points

Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...

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Funny story: O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

O.J. will sell 'murder knife' for $5 million--Jimmy Hoffa found during prison cavity search!

NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...

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Funny story: "What A Carve Up!"

"What A Carve Up!"

Regrettably, yet again (four) police officers have been stabbed while attempting to arrest a rather agitated, if not completely fucking loopy, nutter. The incident occurred in Kingsbury, Northwest London, on Saturday after a man had grabbed a knife f...

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Funny story: Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers to 'stand in the corner and face the wall', says Clarke

Knife wielding teenagers who threaten the well-being of others will be forced to 'stand in a corner and face the wall' under new plans unveiled by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to restore order to the streets of Britain. The plans were revealed...

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Funny story: The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

The Keukan Study Defines Popular Affection Positions

In recent months, scientists at the North American Association of Foreplay and Sexuality (NAAFAS) have finished their study of spooning, and have discovered that spooning is not the only preferred way of remaining close to your partner after intimate...

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Funny story: Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

Burglars breaking in can now be stabbed, but only if there's a knife available and the burglar has no gun!

The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...

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Funny story: Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Tooled up cavemen indicate increase in knife crime figures since 2000BC

Researchers have discovered stone tools in Norfolk, UK, that suggest that early humans arrived in Britain nearly a million years ago - or even earlier. Ever since then, knife crime has been on the increase. In 2000BC alone there were a dozen...

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Funny story: More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

More likely to get run over than to go to prison for knife crime

Phoenix Joe has just seen newly released statistics that you are more likely to get run over by a car than you are to go to prison for committing a knife crime in the UK. Which makes no sense of all the NuLab government claims to be getting tough on...

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Funny story: Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Chocolate can cut your leg off - Easter eggs may contain blades in future!

Easter eggs and other chocolate can now through a loop hole in an old law carry blades and other weapons, as long as they are not the locking type that have been banned since 1903 unless sold only in small amounts, latest research suggests. The st...

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