A new law spells the end of uncontrolled magnet fishing in Britain’s canals and rivers. The sport has grown rapidly in recent years, with experienced anglers (known as ‘maglers’) landing catches including swords, shotguns, safes and even parking mete…
Police in London have made an arrest at the entrance to the Houses of Parliament, after receiving a tip-off that an MP was planning to enter the building armed with a knife. The operation to apprehend the culprit was carried out away from the eyes...
A study on knife crime based in London, has concluded that stabbing is now more popular than harmlessly slapping someone in the chops. Stabbing, which used to be seen as a 'last resort', has made giant leaps and bounds in the recent past, and is n...
In a bold move to reduce prison violence, the British government has announced that it will be taking away guns and knives from prisoners. The policy, which will be introduced in early 2017, will mean that prisoners in UK jails will no longer be able...
Earlier this morning Med Star filming crew set up props on O.J. Simpson's former estate. They were preparing to film the last three episodes of Forensic Files. Filming was interrupted when the Prop Master found a knife buried under the Director's...
President Obama today fired Julia Peterson, head of the beleaguered Secret Service. Her strange testimony yesterday before congressional lawmakers was, no doubt, one of the reasons. When Chairman Issa asked her to explain why a deranged man carry...
NASHVILLE, Tennessee - The Firestone Tire and Rubber Company has revealed to the public that they've just developed a brand new ultra-modern tire. The tire, known as the RMC-600, was developed totally out of recycled milk containers. The compan...
TOLEDO, Ohio - Ever since he was a youngster Titus Hank Hookerhaus has always loved to dabble in the world of inventions. Well 19 years of dabbling have finally paid off as he has just invented the biggest army penknife in existence. The knife...
Governor Martin O'Malley has made a request for Maryland police to step up efforts to catch the butter knife killer after he crossed an alleged red line by gassing a couple in their smart car.The butter knife killer has killed 10 people in the Maryla...
Blackpool, the ageless seaside town, has erected customs booths on all the roads into the town. "There are three major routes into the town," said Blackpool Community Chairperson, Tony Blackburn. "At each of these points, we are putting booths to...
NEVADA STATE PENETENTARY (ABSNN) - O. J. Simpson is offering to sell the knife that was used to slay his wife, Nicole, and her friend Ron Goldman, for the sum of $5 million. Guards at NSP immediately tossed his cell but found nothing other than a ba...
Regrettably, yet again (four) police officers have been stabbed while attempting to arrest a rather agitated, if not completely fucking loopy, nutter. The incident occurred in Kingsbury, Northwest London, on Saturday after a man had grabbed a knife f...
Knife wielding teenagers who threaten the well-being of others will be forced to 'stand in a corner and face the wall' under new plans unveiled by Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke to restore order to the streets of Britain. The plans were revealed...
In recent months, scientists at the North American Association of Foreplay and Sexuality (NAAFAS) have finished their study of spooning, and have discovered that spooning is not the only preferred way of remaining close to your partner after intimate...
The laws allowing burglars to do their dirty deeds is about to be radically changed according to "man of the people" Ken Clark. In fact he has told all innocent houseowners, scared grannies, home alone children, etc, "grab a bread knife as big as you...
Researchers have discovered stone tools in Norfolk, UK, that suggest that early humans arrived in Britain nearly a million years ago - or even earlier. Ever since then, knife crime has been on the increase. In 2000BC alone there were a dozen...
Phoenix Joe has just seen newly released statistics that you are more likely to get run over by a car than you are to go to prison for committing a knife crime in the UK. Which makes no sense of all the NuLab government claims to be getting tough on...
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