Toxteth - (Alien Mess): A phallic-shaped UFO spotted over the UK's former slave trade capital has sparked fears that the Queen will be abducted during her official visit on Friday.
The craft was seen hovering over the former Aliens' Registration Orifice where Soviet illegals and other Hitler relatives had to sign on each week during the cold war years.
It was followed by a curious acid green contrail that spelled out the words N-A-Z-I and Z-Y-K-L-O-N 'B' in the skies above the city's Upper Parliament Street.
Strong headwinds then carried the exhaust fumes to the Duke of Westmonster's 42 acre Paradise Street development site where the Puppet Monarch is due to unveil a plaque to the Provisional IRA.
Friday's ground breaking trip will also take in cultural hotspots like Cherie Blair's alleged family home where she 'shagged all four Beatles one sunny afternoon' if her current memoir is to be believed.
Prince Philip is Oswald Mosley's nephew.
