Reichschancellor Alastair von Darling has increased personal tax allowances, meaning anyone earning over £4,500 will gain 120p this year.
Tory Shadow Reichsfuhrer, George Bernard Shore, accused Mr. Darling of being a 'Conservative', and Liberal Democrat Nobody, Mr. George Bentshort, said: 'OK, yeah, let's forget about gross taxes, and stick to gross perversions.'
The change will mean a huge lack of difference to taxpayers across Britain, but will pay for Mr. Darling's expensive car, and for PM Gordon Brown's long-awaited massive face lift.
Trade unions welcomed the change, and GBH leader Paul Yesman said: 'I agree with anything I'm told to, this is a socialist government, isn't it?' And King Arthur Scargill, head of the traditionally militant coal mining union, with its eleven members and a dog, said: 'As long as I live in a million-pound house, I refuse to support this right-wing government.'
James Maxton, co-founder of the Labour Party, made a final comment from his pauper's grave near Glasgow: 'I'm now turning in mah grave, to see the Labour Party now to the right of Maggie Thatcher - makes me glad I'm deid!' And Mrs. Thatcher herself, speaking from her padded cell in Grantham, said: 'I'm glad those reds have finally become Conservatives, shows you my work has finally been vindicated. When can I have my medications, doctor?'
Karl Marx declined to make a comment, but stated anyway: 'Now you see why 'Das Kapital' was so awful - I based it on the British workers!' And Freddie Engels, Communist and England cricketer, said: 'Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your next twelve test matches.'
The Sun is now a joke - again.
