The British Chancellor Alistair Darling has announced plans to redistribute hair dye to the most needy part of his epidermis after his £587 billion budget took the dye from his hair and gave it to his well off eyebrows.
This Chancellor's hair will receive more dye from September with a special once-off emergency delivery to fix his look after the British Association of Badgers complained that crimes against the badger had increased 5 fold due to their unfortunate resemblance to Alistair Darling.
Labour party MP Frank Field welcomed the news and confirmed that his eyebrows and hair colour match perfectly putting to rest claims spread by Gordon Brown that he was a skunk spreading vile smells throughout the Labour party.
The Conservative party called the plan a sham suggesting that Darling's hair should never have been starved of colour and that Labour's credibility with working-class hair follicles had been damaged permanently.
