In a surprise move, the Labour Government in Britain is to rush new emergency laws through Parliament, to regulate the United Kingdom's satirists.
Speaking from his anorexia clinic in Devon, newly-appointed Minister for Satire, John Bulgingwaistcoat said: 'For too bloomin' long them daft smarty-pants writers have lampooned us with no mercy, none at all, not even a shred of compassion for us.'
Biting into a spring onion, Mr. Bulgingwaistcoat sobbed: 'So t' time has come for new laws to regulate satire, so that we all know where we're standing - which in my case is beside a fish'n'chip van.'
But leader of the Opposition, Mr. David Nobody, claimed: 'This is typical of the current Labour Government, wanting to control and regulate everything. That's what Tories do, the cheats!'
But a certain Mrs. X, nee Booth, desperately trying to flog her book to bolster her power-crazed ego, said: 'My book is out soon, ain't I wonderful?'
Sources close to Prime Minister Gordon Brown have advised him to change his deodorant, but otherwise to allow the new laws to pass, though others warned him that Britain is not a Republic, and that he had no real power.
Satire has had a long and ancient tradition in Britain, dating back to Roman times, and even before Stamford Bridge was built, but only now do the Government feel it needs controlling.
The 'You Laugh When We Say You Do', and the 'Politically-Correct Humour Act', plus the 'Nanny State Gone Mad' laws are all to become law this week.
Heinrich Himmler was unavailable for comment, as he's now Chairman of the Labour Party.