Government proposes to lobotomise registered sex offenders

Funny story written by Jasper Stones

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

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A focus group yesterday

Following a recent initiative to register sex offenders email addresses with the police and ISPs, the lobotomy plans were announced after it was revealed how easy it is to obtain a new email address.

'We thought that email addresses were like home addresses and couldn't be obtained or falsified that easily' said one unnamed junior minister today. The revised plan is to lobotomise registered sex offenders in the hope that their newly limited mental capacity will deem them unable to operate a computer, let alone register a new hotmail account.' The shadow Minister for Home Affairs commented 'This is outrageous and demonstrates the current Governments inability to think in a joined up manner'.

When asked what their alternative policy would be the Minster replied 'We are considering a policy whereby any appendage that could be used to operate a keyboard or mouse be surgically removed, placed in cryogenic storage and then re-attached to the offender once their debt to society has been repaid'.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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