"Hooray Henley" as Boris Re-writes Congestion Charge Rules

Written by Pen & Ink

Sunday, 4 May 2008

image for "Hooray Henley" as Boris Re-writes Congestion Charge Rules
Chelsea Tractors: Who's Laughing Now?

In an abrupt slap in the face for the environmental lobby, new London Mayor Boris Johnson has announced sweeping changes to the Congestion Charge which will see owners of gas guzzling 4x4's actually receive payment for driving in the capital.

Other changes include:

  • Special exemption status and free parking passes for anyone with a Hummer;
  • A "buy one get one free for your chauffeur" offer for Rolls Royce and Bentley owners;
  • A new £50 higher band Congestion Charge rate for "smug wankers who bought a Toyota Prius thinking they were being really clever"

Questioned outside his London home this morning as he dismantled his bike and took delivery of a new Bugatti Veyron, Johnson was unrepentant.

"I'm a Tory for goodness sake," he told reporters. "What the fuck did you think I was going to do - keep hugging trees after I got elected? Wake up and smell the latte, chaps."

David Cameron is in big trouble.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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