Ships Bring In Extra Whiskey Amid Strike

Written by matwil

Monday, 28 April 2008

Extra foreign whiskey supplies have started arriving in Scotland, to make up for possible shortages due to the Graingemouth strike this week.

A tanker carrying 2,000 tonnes of Bourbon and 1,000 tonnes of Irish has begun unloading its cargo at Aberdeen, and hundreds of staff at Scotland's largest distillery are half way through a two-day binge of epic proportions.

Two out of seven drinks tankers heading to Grangemouth with extra whiskey have already arrived in the Forth, and tankers are due to arrive within the first few days of the week, containing nearly 65,000 tonnes of whiskey - said to be about 10 days' worth.

Bevvy trucks have begun the task of taking the whiskey to Filling Stations across the north-east, and whiskey has begun arriving at ports across Scotland to ease pressure on the off-licences, where increased buying has led to shortages for some retailers.

'People are panic-buying whisky and there are shortages here already', Al Key, of Peterhead, wrote in to us, and some licensed petrol stations in Scotland have reported running out of whisky - but the situation has calmed down compared to earlier in the week, the Scottish Motor Trade And A.A. said.

Union workers' manager Phil McCallan said 'We are going back to work tomorrow with serious hangovers, and we want a period of serious reflection, and a large supply of aspirins.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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